I was a part of organising the first ever Orivesi Pride last year. It went great, I was so proud of what our little team accomplished and after the event, I asked no one in particular “how do we top this next year?” The question itself is an interesting show of how my brain works. I couldn’t just enjoy the happiness and feel proud at that moment, I had to instantly built some kind of anxiety or stress about how to make it better next year.

Another organiser replied something along the lines of “we don’t have to top it”.

That casually thrown answer to a casual question has shaken my whole view of the world and that sentence has had huge effects on my whole life. So much so that five months later it has become a mantra of sorts. Not everything has to improve. Not everything has to grow or become better or move forward. Sometimes, when things are good, things are just good. And that’s enough. No need to fix something that’s not broken.

People don’t need much. We have only so much we can concentrate on at once. We have only so much we can eat, drink, watch and read. I used to be so anxious about not being able to read all the books I wanted to that I stopped reading completely. Capitalism wants us to need and consume new things all the time. Capitalism says we need to own and grow and everything needs to be new and exciting. Turns out that is not true. We are enough as we are, and what we have is often enough. We’re just a bit too overwhelmed and exhausted to realise that what we really need is to stop and calm down rather than get a new gadget that solves or optimises a new issue.

I have recently resigned from the Green Party, and I think my dissatisfaction with the party can be summarised by the topic of this blog text. The Finnish Green Party wants to grow and become a political party for the big masses. I want to be a part of an activist group that has clear vision, not a member of a big political party that just wants to grow and is willing to sacrifice the values it was built on. Or at least the values that got me to join in the first place.

So how has this thought that what we have now is enough actually helped me? How has this realisation that not everything has to grow changed my life so massively? I’ve noticed, that if I give myself permission to stop trying to be better, I can see that I am actually alright as I am. I don’t have to buy new things, try new things, taste new things or make new things. I can just be me. I can find comfort in watching Battlestar Galactica for the millionth of time, or if my husband and I go out to eat a few times a year, we can go to the same restaurant every time where we know food is good instead of always trying something new.

Repetition and familiar choices do not have to be boring, or if they are, maybe being boring is not a bad thing. Routines, traditions and structure free a lot of mental bandwidth. Making decisions is one of the things that I find incredibly tiring. I overthink, I analyse, I delay and procrastinate every single decision. Even small ones. What to have for dinner? What clothes to wear? Planning dinners for the week and having separate home clothes and having-to-leave-home clothes allows me to focus on other things.

When I eat the same thing for breakfast every single day, I do not have to spend a morsel of energy thinking about what to have for breakfast. On workdays this is immensely helpful. I don’t have to make decisions first thing in the morning. And I know I like it every single day.

When I met my husband, one of the weirdest things for me was to learn that not everyone stocks up on toilet paper and milk. Some people run out of milk or other essentials and then go and get more. To me, running out of an essential items is stressful and chaotic experience. When a company stops making a product I have come to rely on, it’s somewhat of a crisis. That’s why I stock up on things. So I don’t have to make a decision, especially in a hurry.

Not everything has to be optimised or stay the same, but finding the balance between trying new things and staying in the same old can be hard. The main thing is to learn to listen to what my body and mind needs, and that’s what I’m working on now. If a day is heavy, maybe comfort food and comfort show is good. But if my brain is too bored, maybe I want to watch something new or try some cooking technique I haven’t before.